I’m really bad at this one and mess up by throwing all kinds of caffeinated questions at him the moment I hear his footsteps. Usually, it’s just a sleepy kiss and a reminder “I’m here now.” or “I love you and am ready to start my day.” We don’t talk about anything important after 8 PM or before 10 AM and we try to remember to ask the other person if they’re awake enough to talk. We wake each other up (a little bit) when we come in and out of bed. Here are some things we’ve figured out to make it work. That’s when he watches his B-Grade horror movies, reads science fiction novels, and makes creative sandwiches with whatever kind of bread he can find. It’s not a humble brag it’s just how my body is wired. I am a morning person who never sets an alarm. We Don’t Talk About Anything Important After 8 PM or Before 10 AM Different schedules aren’t necessarily a challenge, as long as you make sure to spend some quality time together, even if it’s just an hour of watching TV. This actually turned out great once kids came into the picture, as one of us would take care of them while the other one was sleeping. That way we can focus on doing fun things when we’re together. I run an outdoors and camping website and find it easier to do my part after work while she does hers before. We also work different shifts so often we don’t spend more than a few hours together during weekdays. I’m a morning bird while my wife is a night owl. Carve Out Quality Time - When You’re Both At Your Best Everyone in my house knows to be quiet until around 9 on weekends because mommy is sleeping. They’re older now and wake up around 7, but that’s still way earlier than I prefer. He took care of the kids when they were toddlers waking up at ungodly hours. When we had kids, I really started to appreciate how my husband is up with the sun naturally. We moved in together in 2007 and married in 2009, and he tried to hang.īut since our first was born, we realized it’s way easier if I do “night stuff” and he does “morning stuff.” He heads to bed shortly after the kids, usually around 9, while I stay up to clean the kitchen, feed the cats, set the alarm, etc. And forget trying to stay up to watch a movie together. I was so annoyed when I’d be finishing up dinner at 9 and he’d be half asleep on the couch. In the beginning, it was an issue and led to a lot of pissy conversations. My husband is basically useless after 9 PMand I’m that way before 9 a.m. But sometimes it is! So how do couples with mixed sleep schedules make it work? We spoke to six individuals who have different patterns than their partner, about their experiences, how it was or wasn’t a problem, and how they’ve made it work. And that’s not always easy, especially when kids come into the picture. So despite the off-beat in circadian rhythms, they have to make it work. By the time couples with clashing schedules realize they have to hash out their bedtimes and alarm clock settings, they’re past the point of no return, i.e. Often differences in sleep patterns don’t matter until they do. The early bird is cheerfully flitting around the house with coffee brewing, NPR blaring, and the day’s Wordle completed as dawn has just started breaking. Or at the very least it sets up a rude awakening for the night owl. In fact, as a general rule, they go undiscussed long into the courtship process, setting up couples for a rude awakening if one is an early bird and the other is a night owl and they find that their schedules don’t sync. Or second, third or fourth dates, for that matter. Likewise, they don’t factor into first-date conversations. Bedtime preferences aren’t featured on dating profiles.
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